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Episode

164: How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk, with Tom Henschel

jerk
https://media.blubrry.com/coaching_for_leaders/content.blubrry.com/coaching_for_leaders/CFL164.mp3

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Is someone you care about – or maybe even you – working for a jerk? In today's show, my guest Tom Henschel from the Look & Sound of Leadership podcast helps us to navigate this difficult situation.

Tom Henschel
Host, The Look & Sound of Leadership
Executive and Leadership Coach, Essential Communications

How to know if it’s just you

  • Test the waters, but be careful

How to address it

  • When you decide to talk, leave the emotion out of it
  • Frame the business concern, not you as the victim
  • Don’t take it personally
  • Don’t speak for others

You are not going to change your boss

  • It’s not your place to get coaching for your boss
  • Nothing you will do will likely change your boss’s behavior
  • If you can accept that, what do you want to do?

If it’s really a business issue, give the feedback

  • Avoid being attached to the outcome
  • Once the feedback is given, let it go
  • Rehearse the feedback with someone trusted before you give it

What to do when the boss is chaotic

  • Calm down with someone who is chaotic
  • Take tons of notes
  • Get clear agreements
  • When they change something, don’t take it personally
  • Consider sending a note afterwards to summarize what is said

How to deal with the narcissist

  • Be a good audience and ask how you can help them to succeed
  • “Narcissists crave attention and there’s not enough room in the spotlight for both of you.” -Tom Henschel
  • “With narcissists, in order to succeed with them, you need to not compete with them.” -Tom Henschel
  • Have support outside of work too, since you won’t get it from your boss
  • When you can do it honestly, throw them a bone
  • Always approach situations with collaboration and support

What do you do with the screamer?

  • Don’t engage, wait it out

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Topic Areas:Difficult SituationsFeedbackTom Henschel
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