Is someone you care about – or maybe even you – working for a jerk? In today's show, my guest Tom Henschel from the Look & Sound of Leadership podcast helps us to navigate this difficult situation.
Tom Henschel
Host, The Look & Sound of Leadership
Executive and Leadership Coach, Essential Communications
How to know if it’s just you
- Test the waters, but be careful
How to address it
- When you decide to talk, leave the emotion out of it
- Frame the business concern, not you as the victim
- Don’t take it personally
- Don’t speak for others
You are not going to change your boss
- It’s not your place to get coaching for your boss
- Nothing you will do will likely change your boss’s behavior
- If you can accept that, what do you want to do?
If it’s really a business issue, give the feedback
- Avoid being attached to the outcome
- Once the feedback is given, let it go
- Rehearse the feedback with someone trusted before you give it
What to do when the boss is chaotic
- Calm down with someone who is chaotic
- Take tons of notes
- Get clear agreements
- When they change something, don’t take it personally
- Consider sending a note afterwards to summarize what is said
How to deal with the narcissist
- Be a good audience and ask how you can help them to succeed
- “Narcissists crave attention and there’s not enough room in the spotlight for both of you.” -Tom Henschel
- “With narcissists, in order to succeed with them, you need to not compete with them.” -Tom Henschel
- Have support outside of work too, since you won’t get it from your boss
- When you can do it honestly, throw them a bone
- Always approach situations with collaboration and support
What do you do with the screamer?
- Don’t engage, wait it out
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